No Show!


What we didn’t see at

the movies! With a lesson well learned.

Jane and I decided to go to the movies today to see Bohemian rhapsody. We wanted to go to the new lush theatre (La Isla) in Puerto Vallarta.

We headed out very excited to order meals along with popcorn. I’ve been told that the seats are the most comfortable imaginable. The drive took about an hour which is always very scary….

Got to the Mall, parked and headed up to the theatre. We walk in and it looks awesome and they tell us when we get to our seats a waiter will bring us a menu. I’m very excited thinking about what I’m going to be eating when the Rock and roll starts.

The cost is $5.00 each, so I pull out my credit card, because I’m ready to order up some unhealthy snacks and dinner. The girl says Oh our system is down, so we can’t sell anything unless it’s cash. I can’t believe my ears…. We ask her where the ATM is and she says there isn’t one here at the mall. What? Are you kidding me? This is the most high end mall within hundreds of miles. NO ATM….

She tells us that just down the highway is another mall (about 1 mile) and they have an ATM in a local Irish bar. We are just totally blown away. We don’t want to get in the car and drive to the ATM. Well all this for nothing… Let’s go home… As we are leaving down the escalator Jane says “hey I have about $100.00 in U.S. Cash. We head back up the stairs to the theatre. We both are smiling from ear to ear thinking about red vines and popcorn and maybe some milk duds. We walk back in and real loud I say “problem solved and the clerks are smiling and we say…. We have a bunch of American cash… Both the clerks smiles went away and the lady says…. We’re so sorry… We don’t take American money.

We walk out totally defeated and decide to go home and try to forget why we drove a couple hours for absolutely nothing. And in the greater scheme of things…. we had a really great adventure and a real good lesson learned. Any time we spend together is a gift and usually learning a new lesson

Hawaiian Shirts…….. WHY?


imageHawaiian Shirts… why and where they came from.
This story takes place in a movie theatre a bunch of years ago. I was watching a movie called Patch Adams. The movie reminded me a lot of myself and how I like to take care of others and make people laugh. The movie was about half over when I noticed something and it was that when ever Robin Williams would come into a new scene and he would have a Hawaiian shirt on it would make me smile. I started to think about it and I came up with a great idea. I was going to go home and throw all my shirts out and buy nothing but Hawaiian shirts. I thought that if it made me happy it would do the same for other people. It would make them happy and they would say something to me and it would give me a chance to talk with them. Well I decided to go to the mall and buy some shirts and my wife was still not convinced. She told me not to throw out my shirts until I knew that it was the right thing to do. She is always one step ahead of me, but this time I had a real cool feeling that this was going to be the start of something new. So at the mall I bought 3 really nice Hawaiian shirts and took them home. In the morning we were headed to San dieago so my wife could meet up with her parents. So in the morning we headed to the airport and I had my first very cool Hawaiian shirt on and it made me feel great. It was black and had pineapples all over it. We stopped off at a restaurant in San Jose, California on the way to the airport and while we were there I went to the mensroom and when I was walking out this mean looking biker about twice my size was coming towards me and I moved out of the way. He stared at me and I thought he was going to say something mean to me, but instead he said “hey nice shirt man” and I smiled and walked out. When I got back to my table I told my wife what just happened and she smiled and said maybe I was right. Well we got to the airport and got on the plane and while we were in the air one of the attendants came by and said “hey nice shirt” and I was kinda blown away. We landed and headed off to the hotel to meet up with Jane’s mom and dad. When we got there we were checking in at the hotel and the lady behind the counter looked up at us and smiled and said “hey nice shirt”. I was beside myself, because each time someone had said nice shirt I got a chance to engage into a small conversation with each one. In the morning jane and her dad were headed to a prison and her mom and I headed on the train to Mexico. When we got back we headed to old town san dieago for some Mexican food. We ate at a great restaurant and while we were seated someone walked by and said “nice shirt” and all excited I told Jane’s folks what was going on. After dinner we decided to go to a play that was in this real nice round theatre. The play was called forever plaid. The play was really fun and while the play was going on I noticed one of the guys in the play every now and then would look up our way. I thought he knew someone around us. We were about ¾ the way up the round in the theater. Very close to the top row. When there was a intermission the guys in the play were making adjustments to the stage and the one guy who kept looking up into the crowd was now putting up some poles with strings of lights on them. I saw him look up in out direction and all of a sudden he was coming up the stairs to the top of the auditorium and he stopped at the end of our row. I was convinced he was coming up to say hello to someone sitting by us and he started excusing himself to move in front of all the people in our row. When he finally got to us he looked down at me and said “hey man that’s a real nice shirt”. I was totally convinced that this was no coincidence. This was the final confirmation that I was to go home and throw all my shirts away and just buy all Hawaiian. I have since that day wore only Hawaiian shirts and have almost 300 to date. Hey “nice shirt” is music to my ears!

MEXICUTED………….Piss bugs?

Here in the tropics we get to encounter a wide variety of insects or bugs whatever you want to call them. Last week a darling little creature landed on my finger and took a piss…. I think he got scared. Well the next morning there was a big blister about the size of a dime on my finger. It was bugging me, so I gently popped it and the liquid went all over the top of my hand. No big deal… I washed it off, but the next day…. my finger and the top of my hand and my thumb were all blistered, bright red and itched. While this was healing I woke up to another blister on my other hand. Another blister that kept growing until it was see through transparent. I was concerned so I showed it to our manager Diana and she said be real careful not to pop it and get it anywhere on you because it will spread. (Where was she last week?) jane and I did a little surgery in the bathroom and popped it without getting it on me, or her. Well it’s 2 weeks later and the first pee attack is still red and the skin is still falling off and it seems to be getting worse on the top of my hand. The second pee party is still bright red and the skin is still falling off. It does not help to have to get keys and money out of my pockets, because it doesn’t seem to heal real fast rubbing off the little blisters. Knowing how my luck with medical stuff goes, you could say

 “I’m a Ree Pee t offender. 
This charming insect has acidic urine and relieves itself on you as a defense mechanism. If you touch the resulting blisters, the acid spreads to wherever you touch next. 

I suggest just ……….don’t “touch yourself there”.  ….. You know where!

Taco Tour of San Pancho, Mexico


Ok folks this was a quick golf cart tour right here in San Pancho. My friend Leroy and I had a blast eating tacos. There are many more tacos to taste, so we will be putting together another video. Brought to you by San Pancho Life and Roberto’s Bungalows.

Earl’s Tours around San Pancho


As the host, me, “Earl Miller”, will take the visitors on a personal golf cart tour of San Pancho. After a few hundred personal tours San Pancho Life and I have decided to bring it to everyone interested in a video tour. Many folks heading to San Pancho for their vacations can benefit from a visual show about where they are headed. We grabbed the video and jumped on the Big Red Roberto’s Bungalows golf cart. With the help of San Pancho Life‘s Drew and Sheri Hunt’s camera work and willingness to get a little crazy we took to the streets. We hope you like it and if you need a place to stay get in touch with

A visual tour of San Pancho

Taco Tour 1

Taco Tour 2                            

Taco Tour 3                            

San Pancho Grocery Tour  

Mural tour with Craig Downs.

La Patrona Polo tour.

Circo De Los Ninos

I survived The La Cruz market


La Cruz Market

Living in San Pancho, Mexico and running our family owned boutique hotel Robertos bungalows has some big obligations. The most important one is directing folks to events like music, markets, sporting events and good restaurants.

My favorite place to send everyone who asks is the La Cruz market. One of the greatest markets in the Puerto Vallarta area is the La Cruz market. Right in the marina on the water. It’s a huge market with many vendors from every dip and chip you could possibly think up. Organic everything you can think of and things you would never even consider.

Fruits, juices, breads, salsas and one of the most talked about fresh fish markets anywhere. There is always great live music to make you put a smile on your face and a chance to shake your booty.

Now with all that said you have to remember I’m not the only person sending folks to the market. There are hundreds and hundreds of folks all walking together in a real crowded space. You really have to have patience and some time on your hand.

Me…. I’m not the most patient person you’ve ever met even though I think I am. I find myself wishing I had a stun gun for the group who stop to look at a bucket of strawberries and all 4 or 5 stop dead in their tracks and shut down the flow and everything comes to a complete halt. Not a thought that the hundreds of folks behind them really want to keep shopping. I look around and everyone has a smile on their face and just calmly wait for the folks to start moving again. Me…. I’m about ready to pull all my hair out and I don’t have any! I say under my breath …. Thanks for stopping right in front of me I can use the time out!

All in all it’s a great market and worth every minute you are there. Tonight we will be watching the Grammys having homemade sausage sandwiches on the best sourdough bread money can buy with fresh vegetables. Fresh Brazil and tomatoes on fresh mozzarella. And a blackberry pie for dessert. Real happy I went to the market, but even happier to be home.