I TAP THAT THING ALL NIGHT LONG!  At 65

I’ve been wanting to tell this story for quite some time. Beause  I think I can help all men my age keep their wives smiling and happy all night long. I can’t believe how great my back feels in the morning after going at it about 5 times a night. Not to mention that my wife in the mornings tells me she slept like a baby. You should see the smile on her face in the morning when I bring her a cup of coffee to her bedside when she awakes. For years I have dreamed of getting up 5 times a night and keeping my wife happy. I wanted to try this for years, but I finally did it when my wife was away on a trip to see her parents. 

I went into every mans fantasy dream store and looked around for the right thing to make all my evenings better and I found them. Boy did my eyes pop out when I looked up and there they were. There they were all lined up and there were so many different sizes and you know I was looking for the biggest. Hey I’m a male and I’ve always known that bigger is better. Another cool thing was that there were all kinds of colors to pick from light to dark. Some had big holes and some were small there were quite a few that were oblong. The thing that made me smile was the sign that said ONE TOUCH IS ALL YOU NEED. 

I was so excited and I wanted to surprise my wife so that when she got back from her visit I had things ready for her first night back.

I can’t even begin to tell you our first evening when she got home being together was incredible….I was up at least five times and in the morning you could see from the smile on her face that she was very satisfied with my purchase.

It’s a miracle I tell you. 

I got up every evening for years at least 5 times to pee and every time when I was done that “put the toilet seat down” thing would ring in my head. I would bend over with my hurt back and slowly lower the lid so I wouldn’t make any noise, because I didn’t want to wake my beautiful wife. I have such a bad back that not only would it hurt to bend over, but sometimes I would drop the lid and it would wake both her and I up. Trying to be the good husband it would send me back to bed wide awake trying to get back to sleep. 

Now I get up to go pee and just TAP THAT THING and it slowly goes down and we both sleep like babies. 

Men if you’re anything like me it’s time to get down to the Home Depot and get your own self closing toilet seat.

The greatest thing is you can tell all your buddies that you TAP THAT THING over and over all night long.