MEXICUTED………….Piss bugs?

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RivieraNayaritGringo.com
Here in the tropics we get to encounter a wide variety of insects or bugs whatever you want to call them. Last week a darling little creature landed on my finger and took a piss…. I think he got scared. Well the next morning there was a big blister about the size of a dime on my finger. It was bugging me, so I gently popped it and the liquid went all over the top of my hand. No big deal… I washed it off, but the next day…. my finger and the top of my hand and my thumb were all blistered, bright red and itched. While this was healing I woke up to another blister on my other hand. Another blister that kept growing until it was see through transparent. I was concerned so I showed it to our manager Diana and she said be real careful not to pop it and get it anywhere on you because it will spread. (Where was she last week?) jane and I did a little surgery in the bathroom and popped it without getting it on me, or her. Well it’s 2 weeks later and the first pee attack is still red and the skin is still falling off and it seems to be getting worse on the top of my hand. The second pee party is still bright red and the skin is still falling off. It does not help to have to get keys and money out of my pockets, because it doesn’t seem to heal real fast rubbing off the little blisters. Knowing how my luck with medical stuff goes, you could say

 “I’m a Ree Pee t offender. 
This charming insect has acidic urine and relieves itself on you as a defense mechanism. If you touch the resulting blisters, the acid spreads to wherever you touch next. 

I suggest just ……….don’t “touch yourself there”.  ….. You know where!

Roberto’s Bungalows for sale

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https://kassidylovephotography.pixieset.com/robertosbungalows/
For Sale…………..please share this… Thanks!

Have you ever dreamed of getting out of the rat race selling everything and moving to paradise?

We did seven years ago and are ready to retire… Our fantastic business is for sale and is turn key ready for you to live and work (hardly) in one of the most sought after and safest areas on the Riviera Nayarit coast of Mexico. Just a 3 hour flight and a 40 minute drive from San Francisco Ca. through a breath taking Jungle to the beaches of San Pancho, Mexico. Two miles from Sayulita Mexico. Our beaches were called the number two best kept secret beach on the planet by Men’s Journal magazine last year. Our Bungalows are number one in Specialty lodging on Trip Advisor. We are in the top 10% of businesses worldwide for best reviews by Trip Advisor year after year. This all could be yours. Call me for price and P&L and ROI

Check us out at

http://www.robertosbungalows.com

If interested call me Earl Miller at 707-280-6366. …… Someone is going to get the best life possible! Please share with your friends!

Taco Tour of San Pancho, Mexico

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Ok folks this was a quick golf cart tour right here in San Pancho. My friend Leroy and I had a blast eating tacos. There are many more tacos to taste, so we will be putting together another video. Brought to you by San Pancho Life and Roberto’s Bungalows.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0ahUKEwjXwsSkg-HVAhVM6mMKHaciBI0QwqsBCA0wAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DymoWr8yuDis&usg=AFQjCNGmv6DNRH3F1HcLRRcDM91BXrgvcw

Earl’s Tours around San Pancho

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At Roberto’s Bungalows the host me “Earl Miller” will take the visitors on a personal golf cart tour of San Pancho. After a few hundred personal tours San Pancho life and I have decided to bring it to everyone interested in a video tour. Many folks heading to San Pancho for their vacations can benefit from a visual show about where they are headed. We grabbed the video and jumped on the Big Red Roberto’s Bungalows golf cart. With the help of San Pancho Life‘s Drew and Sheri Hunts camera work and willingness to get a little crazy we took to the streets. We hope you like it and if you need a place to stay get in touch with www.Robertosbungalows.com
Mural tour with Craig Downs.        https://youtu.be/PkqzG8_DCJ0

La Patrona Polo tour.         https://youtu.be/nzypOFypUSA

Cirque De Los Ninos         https://youtu.be/bJDUJ-pj7oE

Taco tour

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0ahUKEwjXwsSkg-HVAhVM6mMKHaciBI0QwqsBCA0wAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DymoWr8yuDis&usg=AFQjCNGmv6DNRH3F1HcLRRcDM91BXrgvcw

A visual tour of San Pancho.    https://youtu.be/X3uKb6hBioE

I survived The La Cruz market

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La Cruz Market

Living in San Pancho, Mexico and running our family owned boutique hotel Robertos bungalows has some big obligations. The most important one is directing folks to events like music, markets, sporting events and good restaurants.

My favorite place to send everyone who asks is the La Cruz market. One of the greatest markets in the Puerto Vallarta area is the La Cruz market. Right in the marina on the water. It’s a huge market with many vendors from every dip and chip you could possibly think up. Organic everything you can think of and things you would never even consider.

Fruits, juices, breads, salsas and one of the most talked about fresh fish markets anywhere. There is always great live music to make you put a smile on your face and a chance to shake your booty.

Now with all that said you have to remember I’m not the only person sending folks to the market. There are hundreds and hundreds of folks all walking together in a real crowded space. You really have to have patience and some time on your hand.

Me…. I’m not the most patient person you’ve ever met even though I think I am. I find myself wishing I had a stun gun for the group who stop to look at a bucket of strawberries and all 4 or 5 stop dead in their tracks and shut down the flow and everything comes to a complete halt. Not a thought that the hundreds of folks behind them really want to keep shopping. I look around and everyone has a smile on their face and just calmly wait for the folks to start moving again. Me…. I’m about ready to pull all my hair out and I don’t have any! I say under my breath …. Thanks for stopping right in front of me I can use the time out!

All in all it’s a great market and worth every minute you are there. Tonight we will be watching the Grammys having homemade sausage sandwiches on the best sourdough bread money can buy with fresh vegetables. Fresh Brazil and tomatoes on fresh mozzarella. And a blackberry pie for dessert. Real happy I went to the market, but even happier to be home.

I tap that all night long! At 65

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I TAP THAT THING ALL NIGHT LONG!  At 65


I’ve been wanting to tell this story for quite some time. Beause  I think I can help all men my age keep their wives smiling and happy all night long. I can’t believe how great my back feels in the morning after going at it about 5 times a night. Not to mention that my wife in the mornings tells me she slept like a baby. You should see the smile on her face in the morning when I bring her a cup of coffee to her bedside when she awakes. For years I have dreamed of getting up 5 times a night and keeping my wife happy. I wanted to try this for years, but I finally did it when my wife was away on a trip to see her parents. 

I went into every mans fantasy dream store and looked around for the right thing to make all my evenings better and I found them. Boy did my eyes pop out when I looked up and there they were. There they were all lined up and there were so many different sizes and you know I was looking for the biggest. Hey I’m a male and I’ve always known that bigger is better. Another cool thing was that there were all kinds of colors to pick from light to dark. Some had big holes and some were small there were quite a few that were oblong. The thing that made me smile was the sign that said ONE TOUCH IS ALL YOU NEED. 

I was so excited and I wanted to surprise my wife so that when she got back from her visit I had things ready for her first night back.

I can’t even begin to tell you our first evening when she got home being together was incredible….I was up at least five times and in the morning you could see from the smile on her face that she was very satisfied with my purchase.


It’s a miracle I tell you. 

I got up every evening for years at least 5 times to pee and every time when I was done that “put the toilet seat down” thing would ring in my head. I would bend over with my hurt back and slowly lower the lid so I wouldn’t make any noise, because I didn’t want to wake my beautiful wife. I have such a bad back that not only would it hurt to bend over, but sometimes I would drop the lid and it would wake both her and I up. Trying to be the good husband it would send me back to bed wide awake trying to get back to sleep. 

Now I get up to go pee and just TAP THAT THING and it slowly goes down and we both sleep like babies. 

Men if you’re anything like me it’s time to get down to the Home Depot and get your own self closing toilet seat.

The greatest thing is you can tell all your buddies that you TAP THAT THING over and over all night long.